Alcohol, Heroes and YaoiLOLWHUT
by TheBrainlessYaoiAddict
Summary: How the heck did we get from America's stupidity to drunk Russia! Read to find out...ill call this 'T' for now...bit of a limey thing in the last chapter.


It was an average day in the world. Yet another world meeting had failed, mainly because America (as usual) wouldn't shut up. The other nations had been both annoyed and terrified; because Russia was acting worse then normal. America was the only one that didn't notice Russia glaring gaps in souls. Britain had muttered something about him being an "oblivious git" until Russia's gaze fell on him, and he went silent immediately. When the meeting ended, the countries were practically at each others throats to be out the door first. Except for Japan and America. They had remained behind to chat. More like America was talking and Japan was listening. Japan was mildly annoyed by this point in the conversation, because he had listened to America too much already.

"I'm awesome enough to do anything!" America cheered.

"If you say so…" Japan sighed.

America, not the best at reading moods, somehow took this as a sign that Japan was depressed. Determined to fix this, he immediately grabbed his Asian friend and hugged him.

"W-WHY ARE YOU HUGGING ME?" Japan said, pushing America off.

"Because you're sad!" The American explained.

"いええ。I'm not."

"Oh. Yay!"

Just then, Britain returned to the conference room.

"Herro Engrand-san," Japan greeted with a bow.

"Hey Britain!" America grinned as he pulled out a map of the states.

"'Ello."

America studied his map for a minute, before looking up and asking "Hey Britain, where's Italy again?" He gestured to his map.

Britain smacked him upside the head and yelled "IT'S IN EUROPE!"

"Oh yeah…..I kinda forgot!" America smiled and rubbed his head.

"Way to go, America. Italy's probably sulking in a corner somewhere now!"

"Oh no! Italy!" America cried in horror.

"Should someone go comfort him…?" Japan suggested.

"I'LL DO IT BECAUSE I'M THE HERO!" America announced before dashing off to find Italy. Britain and Japan watched him leave, then looked at each other.

"I think we should forrow him….don't you agree Engrand-san?" Japan said.

"Good idea. Anything can happen with that twat." England agreed, and they rushed off after the blond American.

They found America and Italy in another room. America was hugging the Italian from behind, and Italy was looking rather confused.

"I'M SO SORRY ITALY! I PROMISE I'LL NEVER EVER FORGET AGAIN!" America was basically screaming the apology.

"W-wha?" Italy didn't seem to know what was going on. Not surprising really; America wasn't the easiest to keep up with.

"So…your not mad?" America released him, and Italy turned to face him.

"Why would I be'a made at'a someone~?"

America started to explain, until Britain piped in "Hey, where'd Japan go?"

The three countries turned to look. It was true. Japan was missing.

"JAPAN'S MISSING!" America screamed.

"Say wha~?" Italy stared blankly.

"AAAHG WHAT IF A GHOST GOT HIM?"

Suddenly, Japan walked back into the room.

"JAPAN! YOU'RE ALIVE!" America cried ecstaticly.

"Gomenasai! I forgot something in the conference room."

"I thought a ghost got you!" America sobbed, pulling Japan into another hug.

"Of course a ghost wouldn't get me-they aren't rear America-san." Japan somehow escaped the blond man's superhuman strength and stood next to Italy, who was still trying to piece together the whole scene.

"You don't know that!" America argued, still convinced peoples souls wandered the earth after death.

Britain slapped America across the face.

"NO THEY ARE NOT YOU IGNORANT BOOB!"

"HEY!" America rubbed his cheek, glaring at Britain in a mildly hurt way.

"W-why are you two fighting?" Japan asked, slightly upset.

"BECAUSE ITS WWII BIATCH" Britain screamed in Japan's direction.

"Atleast I can cook!" America retorted. "American food is better then British food, right Italy?"

"YOU DID NOT JUST FUCKING SAY THAT," Britain growled, cracking his knuckles.

"Even if it is WWII, aren't you two arries…?" Japan muttered nervously.

"NO!" America and Britain yelled in unison.

"Who'd wanna ally with HIM?" America spat.

"I would…" Japan whispered.

"Italy would! Right Italy?" Britain cried proudly, pointing at Italy.

"I am'a confused. . . I want'a Germany!" The brown-haired nation wailed.

"Italy is MY friend, you limey jerk!" America yelled defensively.

"Don't be ridiculous, you arrogant prick!" the Englishman chuckled.

"Whatever Britain!"

"DAMN STRAIGHT WHATEVER AMERICAN PIG!"

"LIMEY BASTARD!"

"ATROCIOUS GREASE GUZZLER!"

"ATLEAST I DONT HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM BRITAIN."

"YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT RUSSIA, DUMBASS"

"WHO KEEPS GETTING DRUNK AND MAKING OUT WITH FRANCE? HINT: HES BRITISH!"

Japan covered his ears; more yelling. Where did America find the energy to produce such massive sound waves all the time?

The blond European spat another insult, then stormed out of the room, cursing at some sort of imaginary creature again.

"Hmmf." America sighed and crossed his arms. "Hey Italy, you still here dude?"

"Hai, I agree. Are you?"

America walked over to the Italian and waved a gloved hand in front of his face. "Italy?"

"Si~?"

America grinned, and Italy stared blankly.

"Gomenasai. But I have to leave." Japan said.

"Aw…bye Japan! Don't let the ghost get you!" America waved cheerfully. Japan gave a bow, and exited the room. Noone said anything for a minute. Then America turned and asked "Hey, why does blue cake bother people?"

"I do not'a know~!"

"It's so weird! Blue cake is great!"

"It'a is?"

"Yeah! Want some?" The blond held up a blue cake proudly. Where that materialized from; noone will ever know.

"No grazie~"

"Seriously, what's wrong with blue cake?" America wondered aloud, cutting himself a slice and eating it, pondering what it was about it that turned people off.


End file.
